This site is a collection of blog posts that were originally published by websites that are no longer live. They document my personal experiences of recurrent miscarriage, and how I discovered that mindfulness and self-kindness could help support me through some extremely difficult times.
I’ve received many comments and emails from complete strangers who’d found some comfort in reading these blogs. Often these emails expressed appreciation for my honesty (I didn’t hold back on describing some of the painful feelings that can be hard to admit to), or how the reader felt a sense of recognition, of not being the only one affected by similar issues; in fact when I suffered my first 7 miscarriages, I scoured the internet for stories similar to mine, and at the time I found nothing that resonated with me.
I know from personal experience that raw honesty is sometimes more helpful than airbrushed perfection, and so this is a very candid exploration of my own path through grief and loss, towards healing and peace.
As I write this introduction, I realise that some of these pieces were written when I was in a very different place emotionally from where I find myself today. But every stage on my own journey was valuable, and so I haven’t edited or censored what I expressed in the blogs as originally posted.
In my case, I felt like the experiences of loss offered me an opportunity: they opened a door to the unknown which I could choose to walk through, painful as it was. Personally I’m glad I did walk through that door – it woke me up to a totally new way to engage with life, and I wouldn’t swap that for an easier route to parenthood. I learned the liberating truth that I’m not really ‘in control’ of everything; I opened up to a much richer emotional life; and I discovered how to truly delight in the quiet, unremarkable – yet miraculous – moments of experiencing this mysterious human life.
We all respond differently to pain and loss, and there’s no one right way to feel, but for those who might find something helpful in these writings, I offer them with love and compassion for what you’re going through.
PLEASE READ THE GUIDANCE NOTE at the bottom of this post, to ensure that you support yourself as fully as possible. Oh, and please forgive the presence of ads on this site (a free site was the best option for now).
I live in the UK with my husband and our son, and I work part-time as a Mindful Living coach. As a trained coach and mindfulness teacher, I’ve shared the practices of mindfulness and self-kindness with hundreds of people in classes and workshops. I’ve written for popular websites including the Huffington Post and Everyday Mindfulness. I’m passionate about contributing whatever I can to support others’ journeys of self-development, and I’m inspired by being human and discovering freedom. You can access my Mindful Living resources at my main site sheilabayliss.com
This site consists of reflections on my personal experience, and as such is not intended as advice about how to practice mindfulness. If you have recently experienced a traumatic loss or are experiencing debilitating levels of emotional distress, it may not be advisable to learn mindfulness for the first time until you are feeling more settled, and I would recommend seeking the support of a suitably qualified mental health professional.
Alongside my own mindfulness practice, I relied on regular sessions with a therapist during the journey described in these blogs. Many therapists now incorporate mindfulness and self-compassion into their approaches, and can help guide you as to when to move on to a more general mindfulness-based approach.
The writing offered here is in no way a substitute for support from an appropriate health professional, therapist or counsellor.
Posts on this site include: